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Watched: 13 September

Yeesh. Having watched the first film a couple of years ago – my local cinema was unusually packed to the rafters for that and the atmosphere was electric, more so than any other film I can remember seeing there – I felt duty bound to continue with the Fifty Shades franchise despite expecting the worst from this second entry (fnarrr!). It’s every bit as terrible as the reviews suggested, and far worse than the first film, with Jamie Dornan’s Christian Grey cementing his place among the most preposterously awful characters ever seen on screen. Hilariously poor and about as sexy as a wet Wednesday night in Chalfont St Peter. (½)


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